Welcome to Divorce Information Guide
Coping With Divorce Article
This is a selection made from among articles on Coping With Divorce. For a permanent link to this article, or to bookmark it for future reading, click here.
Coping With Divorce Anger
from: Tracy AchenSuccessfully releasing your anger will help you begin healing after your divorce. Right now you may feel a great deal of rage at your ex-husband. You might be thinking that if it weren’t for him, your life wouldn’t be so messed up. These feelings are actually a necessary part of your healing.
Acknowledging Anger
Wouldn’t you just love to tell him what a sorry human being he is? How he didn’t respect you and treated you like dirt. Well, do It! Take a piece of paper and write down everything that he did wrong. Release all the anger that has been bottled up. Get it all off your chest. Tell him how he hurt your feelings and how you suffered to make the marriage work. Don’t be surprised if this letter goes on for pages, just get it all out.
Now for the important part.......Do Not Give Him This Letter. It would only re-enforce the impact that he had on your life. Burn it or throw it away. Allow yourself to release that anger and resentment. It’s over and done with. You’ve acknowledged the hurt and are now ready to figure out what went wrong and move on.
Gaining Insight
Gaining insight into why your marriage failed helps you to move on to healthier relationships in the future. Start by thinking about what attracted you to him in the first place. Maybe he was handsome, strong, or wealthy. What benefits did you get from the marriage? Maybe it was security, companionship, or a sense of belonging. These are the things that are important to your core being, and the difficulties in your marriage probably stemmed from threats to these areas.
Perspective
Knowing what part he played in the problems is easy, but you also need to recognize how you contributed. Owning up to responsibility is probably the hardest part.
Most women grew up with the image of the “White Knight” who rides in and takes charge. The princess falls in love and stands behind her man. The only problem is that this fairy tale usually doesn’t have a happy ending because the power of choice is removed. You are swept through life by circumstances and decisions of others.
If you can own up to your participation in the marriage, you have gained power. For example, by admitting that you stayed in a bad marriage for economic reasons, you therefore, can choose to find a good paying job and leave. When your perspective is one of choice, you gain power and control over your life.
Admitting that you put up with a bad situation out of choice allows you now to make decisions to do things differently in your new life. Once you accept responsibility for your life, be careful to not turn your anger inward. You did the best you could in your given situation. It's in the past, and you now have the power to move forward. Release the hold that anger has over helps you to regain control over your life again. You no longer need to feel like a victim, and your self esteem will begin to rise.
About the Author
Tracy Achen is the author of "DIVORCE 101: A Woman's Guide to Divorce", and publisher of a website to help women cope with divorce. At WomansDivorce.com we have one focus – helping women survive their divorce and rebuild their lives. For additional articles and information on divorce, visit the web site at http://www.womansdivorce.com
Related Articles for Coping With Divorce
 |
 |
Coping With Divorce News
Hilary Duff Elixir! - LALATE (blog)
 Indian Express | Hilary Duff Elixir! LALATE (blog) Duff will also write a nonfiction book about children coping with divorce. For Duff, her father's drama headlined news in 2008. Since then, Hilary Duff's ... Hilary Duff to Write Young Adult Books Hilary Duff to pen books Duff Writing Books For Young Adults |
Ouzounian: Watch out, Edinburgh. The Canadians are coming - Toronto Star
Ouzounian: Watch out, Edinburgh. The Canadians are coming Toronto Star When I first reviewed the show, I called Thomson's portrait of a young girl coping with the aftermath of her parents' divorce "blissfully funny and ... |
Blake Shelton' deletes Twitter app from his phone, says hello to life - The Canadian Press
Blake Shelton' deletes Twitter app from his phone, says hello to life The Canadian Press NASHVILLE — Blake Shelton seems to be coping well after his recent breakup. The country star ended his committed relationship with Twitter about a month ago ... |
Cheryl Cole's got bronchitis! - Sugarscape
 Sugarscape | Cheryl Cole's got bronchitis! Sugarscape As if coping with the breakdown of her marriage wasn't enough, Cheryl's been forced to put work commitments on the back burner again after contracting a ... |
Clark Resident Unveils His Story Of Walking With God During A Divorce - NJ TODAY
 NJ TODAY | Clark Resident Unveils His Story Of Walking With God During A Divorce NJ TODAY In “Divorce Ahead – Detour,” the Clark resident offers inspiration as he tells of the miracle that unfolded before him after coping with divorce. ... |